Remember the adorable goldfish plant that I blogged about earlier this year? Well, I killed it. Maybe it isn’t my fault at all. Maybe it was just its time to go. The thing is, I have no idea what happened, and that’s okay, because sometimes plants die.

I didn’t start watering the goldfish any differently and I never moved it from the sunny east-facing windowsill, where it looked perfectly healthy and happy until a couple of months ago. Then a brown plague started creeping up the stems until all the leaves turned brown and fell off. I’m keeping it around for a while, hoping it just went dormant and will bounce back in a month and push out some new growth. But if the stems turn dry and brittle, I know it’s time to let it go.

Accepting mysterious plant death is an essential part of the process for anyone learning to garden. Of course there are many reasons why a plant might die, but trying to figure out why when there’s no obvious answer can drive a person crazy. Did I overwater? Was there a build-up of salt in the soil? Did I underwater? Was it a virus? A fungus? A bug? Maybe it’s just dormant? I should have fertilized!

Instead, repeat after me: “Sometimes plants die.”

Of course, if you kill every plant you come in contact with, you may have a more serious problem. But if it’s just an occasional occurrence, learn to let it go.

I still feel like a bit of a failure every time I kill a plant, but now I just try to look at it as an opportunity to try something new. The conversation in my head goes something like this: “Oops, looks like I killed this plant. That sucks. Maybe I’ll swing by the nursery on my way home.”